I saw this news story the other day and it pretty much ensures that I will never sleep soundly again. This woman had an “itchy” ear. When she went to the doctor they discovered a SPIDER living in her ear canal. Apparently it crawled in there while she was sleeping and set up a home. The whole story disturbed me. This quote didn’t help. “The insects are probably entering the canal as harborage, for heat, and/or for moisture,” Philip Koehler, an entomology professor at the University of Florida, told The Huffington Post last year. Oh hell no. My warm moist ear canals are for me alone. I am thinking of installing anti-immigration signs and some type of border fence around my ear. Interlopers will be squished without the benefit of a trial. Go ahead, try and sleep now without thinking about them crawling in there. (shudders)
For those that asked, the visit with my friend and her family last week was great. I am always impressed with how you can not see a good friend for a long, long time and then two minutes after they arrive it feels like you haven’t been apart. We did all sorts of fun Vancouver things.
Under the heading It Takes Someone Special, I have this story: last week we were out with our friends on this beautiful sunny day. As I’ve mentioned before, through poor genetics my skin was not actually meant to be exposed to sunlight. I can get a sunburn if I stand in front of the fridge for too long from the tiny light inside. Knowing my tendency to burn I slathered myself with 35+ SPF before leaving the house. After we were out for a few hours I suspected I may have been perspiring so I slathered on more sunscreen- SPF 70. Then again later I put on EVEN MORE SPF 70. I was wearing enough sunscreen that I should have been able to stroll across the surface of the sun without even noticing that it was fairly warm. When I got home I discovered there was a swath, a patch about eight inches by four inches on my left leg where I had somehow COMPLETELY missed applying sunscreen. How is this possible? I have no idea. I do however have a nasty ass burn that not only hurts, but looks ridiculous. Go me.
This week I’ll be teaching at Book Camp which is a writing program for teens offered through the Vancouver Public Library. I’m really excited about the program and hoping that I don’t do anything stupid. I want them to think I’m cool. I know I am not cool, but given they are only spending a week with me I’m hoping to fool them. This means I need to avoid things like the weird snorty laugh I have or tripping over my own feet and falling over, letting them see my weird patchy sunburn surrounded by pasty skin or having a spider fall out of my ear. I’ll let you know how that goes.