I was at the Farmer’s Market the other day and was fondling various bits of produce. A fellow across from me picked up a small mandarin orange and said: “You wanna bet I could get this in my nose?”
This comment left me baffled. I couldn’t tell if this was an odd pick up line in which case I needed to give a firm: “I’m married to someone and have no interest in what any other man can shove into his own nose.” DH doesn’t shove things in his nose to my knowledge, but I am quite certain if he wanted to, he would be awesome at it, because he’s generally very clever. I’m certainly not in the market for a new guy- even if he has amazingly elastic nostrils.
On the other hand it was possible the fellow made the comment either to himself or to the voices in his head- in which case the best response is no response. I talk to myself all the time and while I usually manage to avoid doing this in public places, I’m not going to start throwing mandarins in my glass house.
The other option is that it was really a dare. I was almost tempted to take that bet. While it was a smallish orange-it was still larger than the average nostril. I was fairly sure I could win that bet. I could buy myself a fancy pair of shoes with my winnings. I would always think of them as my citrus nose shoes.
The last option was he was asking my opinion as to the viability of getting the orange into his nose. There’s no way he would know I have almost no visual spatial ability. If you want to stick something into your nose I am the last person you should ask as to if it will fit.
Because I wasn’t prepared for the question I went with a generic “huh, how about that?” and then wandered away. This is why I bring the situation up here- so you can prepare yourself. You never know when a random person at the farmer’s market will ask you about the ability to shove something into his nose. I can’t be the only person this happens to. Right?